9: Reese’s pieces

Reese’s pieces: X men of the confectionery world.

I have been drooling over this NEW little beauties for a while. But for £2 a pouch, I had to wait until I got paid before I could afford it.

A terrifyingly​ bright orange packaging hints you that it’s not just​ your everyday ordained candy.

It looks like m&m, it tastes a bit like m&m but it’s far from the normal m&m. The super shiny shell is much much much crispier and comes in 3 different colours; E102, E 110 and E129. The inside is like a solidified smooth peanut butter. It is less creamy than the normal Reese’s​, less sweet which means you can eat it more or nearly all in my case. They are confident that you will do just that so they didn’t even bother providing you with those (non) sticky tapes for you to reseal.

And my oh my it worths every penny (I think 50p went to the guy/gal who came up with that cheesy rhyming name). I enjoyed it so much my heart was beating so fast with joy I had to check what it’s actually made of.

And I can tell you in short that it’s a mutant m&m.

The “candy” centre is made of partially defatted peanuts. It didn’t specify how many part it’s has been defatted but I like to think it’s a lot so I can eat more without feeling guilty.

Sugar in both the shell and the candy is produced from GM sugar beet, corn and soya beans!! As far as I’m concerned, soya beans = tofu, that must be good, mustn’t it? It’s like you are eating a whole meal without knowing it!!

The brightly coloured shells are made from the artificial colourings which they proudly inform you that ” it may have effects on activity and attention in children”. Now I know it wasn’t joy that sent my heart racing and why I was extra talkative after popping half a package in my mouth.

But hey, don’t let all of these genetically modified stuffs​ and artificial everything put you off. They had obviously put a lot of effort and God knows what producing this for you. And who knows, with only £2 you might gain a third eye, a tail or even some useful superpowers.

Now I’d better go and check if I’ve grown any of those.
A “clearing Lego off the floor with a flick of a finger” power would be nice.
May you live long and prosper with Reese’s pieces.

8: Lion Bar

Lion bar : one stop shop for people who are broke.

When my friend mentioned that he left a Lion bar for me to try, I imagined a cute and friendly fluffy little Simba. Needless to say I was in total shock from seeing THAT thing : a vampire Simba with rabies on the wrapper. The image of the “real” chocolate on the opposite side isn’t much better, it looks like an offspring of Aliens that would send Sigourney Weaver running. The wrapper is so macho it made me doubt whether this lion bar is actually for a dainty feminine like me? But I braved on.

I tried my best to unwrap it without getting killed by the alien or involuntarily gaining an immortal life suffering from excessive drooling. Once the wrapper is off, the real thing is quite chunky with knobby bobbly surface (a bit PG here, sorry, didn’t mean to). It’s quite difficult to engulf it without getting crumbs everywhere thanks to the wafer and cereal components.
The “milk” chocolate coating is slightly more brown than normal suggesting less milk more cocoa and palm. Just like it’s friend new recipe KitKat. This results in a rather brittle texture that the bits keep breaking off.

The caramel is thick, once you chew for a few seconds, the wafer and tiny cereals disintegrate and you are left with caramel just like eating a boost bar all over. Funnily when you swallow, the wafer taste appears out of nowhere. It’s quite a nice surprise as I thought I’d never see the back of it again.

So all in all you get cereals, wafer, caramel and chocolate in one bar. Just like scrapping a leftover boost, KitKat, blue riband and rice crispies bar off the floor, put them in a blender and roll them into a bar again. Maybe that’s how they do it 😱😱😱😱☠️☠️!! (I’d better stop before Nestlé sues me).

So if you only have 70p but wanting to eat all of the bars mentioned above just get yourself this Lion bar, close your eyes and use your imagination whilst chewing. I guarantee it’ll feel like eating the real things. But make sure when you pick it off the shelf, touch the middle bit unless you wanna get bitten 😱😱.

P.S. Is anyone else wonder why there’s an apostrophe between the O and N of the word Lion?