8: Lion Bar

Lion bar : one stop shop for people who are broke.

When my friend mentioned that he left a Lion bar for me to try, I imagined a cute and friendly fluffy little Simba. Needless to say I was in total shock from seeing THAT thing : a vampire Simba with rabies on the wrapper. The image of the “real” chocolate on the opposite side isn’t much better, it looks like an offspring of Aliens that would send Sigourney Weaver running. The wrapper is so macho it made me doubt whether this lion bar is actually for a dainty feminine like me? But I braved on.

I tried my best to unwrap it without getting killed by the alien or involuntarily gaining an immortal life suffering from excessive drooling. Once the wrapper is off, the real thing is quite chunky with knobby bobbly surface (a bit PG here, sorry, didn’t mean to). It’s quite difficult to engulf it without getting crumbs everywhere thanks to the wafer and cereal components.
The “milk” chocolate coating is slightly more brown than normal suggesting less milk more cocoa and palm. Just like it’s friend new recipe KitKat. This results in a rather brittle texture that the bits keep breaking off.

The caramel is thick, once you chew for a few seconds, the wafer and tiny cereals disintegrate and you are left with caramel just like eating a boost bar all over. Funnily when you swallow, the wafer taste appears out of nowhere. It’s quite a nice surprise as I thought I’d never see the back of it again.

So all in all you get cereals, wafer, caramel and chocolate in one bar. Just like scrapping a leftover boost, KitKat, blue riband and rice crispies bar off the floor, put them in a blender and roll them into a bar again. Maybe that’s how they do it 😱😱😱😱☠️☠️!! (I’d better stop before Nestlé sues me).

So if you only have 70p but wanting to eat all of the bars mentioned above just get yourself this Lion bar, close your eyes and use your imagination whilst chewing. I guarantee it’ll feel like eating the real things. But make sure when you pick it off the shelf, touch the middle bit unless you wanna get bitten 😱😱.

P.S. Is anyone else wonder why there’s an apostrophe between the O and N of the word Lion?

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